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Testicular Iodine Injections

Whoever thought it was a good idea to put these three in contact should be tied up, beaten, and hurled into the nearby Quantapoosit river. This episode’s intelligent and valuable discussion is birthed feet-first when Dr. Josh demonstrated his otherworldly knowledge of reptilian grifters, alien parasites, and television preachers. They are all pretty much the same thing and have large, disingenuous plans for Earth. Also, Is Dr. Chris an alien? It may explain a few things.

Dr. Tom provides an update on the ongoing construction of his own nation, including a few hiccups with codifying law and quantifying the variables of intrinsic value for each of his citizens. Who has the most value? And how many should be stoned to death? Should we create a betting pool?

In Dr. Josh’s cryptic sphere, he again violates his self-made oath of ‘no more dick experiments’ and goes balls-deep into do-it-yourself urology. He learns, unfortunately, that superhero physics do not apply to dicks, and his experiments in genital irradiation only cause terminal issues that even Johns Hopkins can’t remedy.

Dr. Josh is then submitted to a grueling round of uncomfortable probing regarding his past as an intergalactic talent manager. But just like before, nothing is really revealed beyond Dr. Chris’s love of the Tascam DR-05 and Dr. Tom’s dogshit listening skills. Frankly, we ended up learning more about space Mormons than we did about Dr. Josh and his encounter with the Kolonskians… whatever those things are. But to everyone’s surprise, there is revealed to be more ‘found footage’ of Dr. Josh’s half-Asian quarry, Scooter Lee-McRascal, and evidence of his downward slide into depression, depravity, and drinking moonshine at Walmart. Another earworm infection advisory will be in effect until the end of the episode. You’ve been warned.

The show ends with another round of ‘Which is Worse?’. From it, we learn that Tinder might be full of cannibals, Josh might be a secret cannibal, and Chris might be cannibalism-curious. But the most important takeaway of them all? Stay off of Tinder.

Another match made in malpractice is born!


Submit Your Questions to the Doctors Here


“Theme for Harold (var. 3)” and other songs by
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Aural Malpractice Episode 0013: Testicular Iodine Injections

DRACULA’S A ASSHOLE

You know a show is off to a great start when the word ‘Hitler’ is said seven times in one minute by three different idiots. It might be a little hard to take but if you angle it just right, it hits the prostate and then starts to feel good anyway. Dr. Tom takes his first ethically questionable steps towards establishing his own sovereign nation, and Dr. Josh provides some even more ethically questionable advice in the interest of command and control. Whatever the outcome may be of this undertaking, Dr. Chris is prepping his lead-lined bunker. Just in case.

Then, after a long discussion of how to retroactively stop Hitler and keep him away from honorary degrees and nuclear weapons, Dr. Tom feeds the braindead audience and keeps them on track by whipping up the entire show in one easy-to-swallow load. Following that up, the doctors go back to the swamp of despair that is their audience Q+A for a few rounds of sheer disappointment. Interestingly, Dr. Josh knows a lot about the dump and seems suspiciously proud of it.

And finally, after all these months of waiting, Dr. Josh finally reveals just what it was he was doing for the past 6 years. And what was that about those aliens he spoke of before? Now it’s time to find out the answers to absolutely everything with no tangents, oversharing, or deliberate cliffhangers whatsoever! Not to give away too much regarding his amazing journey (Just listen for yourself!),we will only say that feelings were hurt, dreams were shattered, and many, many fluids were simultaneously excreted.

Thank you for your injection, Dr. Josh! We’ve never been more proud to be the second-hand fleshlight of audio entertainment!*


Submit Your Questions to the Doctors Here


*The character “Tammy” was involuntarily voiced by the talented Dorothy Jean Thompson. In otherwords, we used recordings she made available on FreeSound.org. More of Dorothy’s work can be found on her website and sound cloud page (linked below). In no way does she endorse this podcast. For her sake, we hope she isn’t aware of our existence. Dorothy, if you stumble upon this page, we’re sorry we dragged you into this.

No More Dick Experiments

In a valiant effort to keep this yellowy snowball snowballing, the doctors are back for more mania, hysteria, and hyperblia. All of those are words. True to their principles, they begin their malarkey with more speculation and analysis of Dr. Tom’s claims and allegations. Things really aren’t adding up, and there is a divide-by-zero error somewhere in the flavor of clone jelly and arm sweat. It’s probably all the trilling.

Later, Gorilla Glue returns with a humble bow, and tries to redeem itself as an influential entity of masculine health in light of its previous attempt at your average dick hack infotainment. They create yet more advertising space while trying to turn their brand toward a more constructive form of development and not just covering your dick with caustic glue because something something glue dick. For this, we applaud them. Good job!

In light of all the things above, the doctors form a sort-of-binding covenant: no more dick experiments. We will be counting the seconds until this pact is broken.

Dr. josh is hung like cheese. Brie, yak, cheddar, parmesan. Your mileage may vary. This may or may not have anything to do with the podcast.

Dr. Chris reads a cryptic message from a fan. Whatever the outcome, it’s probably fine because the fan was really hot. Like… super hot. Like if Christina Hendricks had a baby with a man who looked exactly like her… wait a minute…

After years of hiding from Chris Hansen, Dr. Jacoby returns to give more interesting historical lessons to the children who listen to our show. Blame the parents. We do. Also, it’s been a long time since he’s reared his head, and we can’t be sure of the legality of his proclivities.

And descending into ‘which is worse’, we learn about pink milk, platelets, and patience.

Aural Malpractice: it’s mostly just cans!

“Theme for Harold (var. 3)” and other songs by
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Aural Malpractice Episode 0008: No More Dick Experiments