adhesives, Aural Malpractice

Just in time for the beginning of pudding season, the doctors return to fleck your walls with every known variety of animal excretion, along with a few newly discovered ones. After opening the show with a modest revision of the English Language, it’s straight to serious discussion about hard-hitting issues, like snowballing at the bank, and other actual winter sports, like the kind you practice via dry friction with a broom.

Then we praise Dr. Chris for his professional, take-charge attitude as he has awarded the doctors with yet another great sponsor, and he is personally requested to pitch a new advertising idea for their product. The only catch is they are requesting Dr. Chris read it personally, and nobody has had the chance to preview it yet.. so the ad read is as cold and live as a reptile. But if they keep the ad, they get the cash. Will they or won’t they?

Dr. Chris then uproots evidence of intellectual theft from none other than the History Channel, discovering not only stolen ideas in one of their latest shows, but stolen audio clips as well. A lawsuit may be in the works.

The doctors then pull a complete Frankenstein with a mashup of some of their favorite movies. But just like the 100% true historical account of the monster itself, they played God, and things got out of hand. Chainsaw decapitations and gay Hitlers abound! Additionally, SOME trains may have been harmed in the making of this disaster. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

In the end, there is another segment of ‘Which is Worse’ that will have you shoving a dead body up an elephant’s ass while you shit uncontrollably. Science is crude and it pulls no punches. Don’t fuck a monkey or a gorilla.

“Theme for Harold (var. 3)” and other songs by
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Aural Malpractice Episode 0007: Olympic Snowballing

The post Olympic Snowballing first appeared on Aural Malpractice.

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The doctors have returned from their self-imposed sabbaticals (For Dr. Chris anyways) and you know what that means! New rectal examination tools! New rectal examination techniques! New prescription medications to treat the side effects of rectal exams! Uncomfortable probing and immature adult comedy in all the worst places!

After recounting tales of their individual absences, intentional or otherwise, Dr. Josh reinvigorates the awkward conversation and PROBES his captive audience with some potentially new jingles and ideas. Dr. Josh honors our quest to find exciting and innovative uses for Pyrex storage containers, and then we roll into some difficult decisions in a few ‘which is worse’ segments that will have you testing the pH balance of your mailbox, probably with a creative combination of adhesives, dildos, and horse medicine. Dr. Chris even shares one of the X number of times his crapped his pants while driving, leaving him with only X-1 left to share in the future. We aren’t sure who emptied the asylum, but they are probably stuck to Glue Baby, and paralyzed in fear (and glue) as Squizfingers does his… thing.

This podcast was sponsored by Pyrex, giantboxofdildosstraighttoyourass.com and The Wonder Awesome Drug Company. Because Everybody needs more of all of those things.

News articles in this episode:

Gujarat Man Seals Private Parts Using Adhesive Instead of Condom During Intercourse, Dies

Our featured image for the seeing-impaired

A man flexes his impressive appendage and charges the room with sexual energy. Elsewhere, he has a large box for a head, exploding with dildos. There are orange dildos, green dildos, purple dildos, blue dildos, and even flesh-colored dildos. One can assume the box contains many more dildos due to its vertical stature. On the front of the label, you are emasculated by the dare to buy your own giant box of dildos, and to fill out the order form with the most turgid object on your body. Giantboxofdildosstraighttoyourass.com has thrown down the mint-flavored, lubricated gauntlet ribbed for her pleasure. Will you answer the challenge?

“Theme for Harold (var. 3)” and other songs by
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/